I need structure to get things done. Part of it has to do with the wide plethora of ministry responsibilities that fall into my oversight: Counseling, Discipleship Classes, Discipleship Mentoring relationships, Small Groups Ministry, as well as various pastoral responsibilities that change daily as people have need. I have found Matt Perman's site helpful for organization: www.whatsbestnext.com
This post was particularly helpful on Daily Routines.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:24-25
These two verses are commentary on God's design for marriage. The outline is not my own. I began utilizing it in counseling couples years ago... it comes to me courtesy of the ministry of Chuck Swindoll and Insight for Living. But it serves as a clear vision of marriage in an age where it is being brutally re-defined to mean virtually nothing.
This Creation commentary shows that God designed marriage between the opposite sexes. It involves one man and one woman. Any other attempt by any other group, no matter how disenfranchised it claims to be, is purely outside the divine design for marriage. It is the biblical teaching on marriage that counters the arguments of proponents of same-sex marriage.
Between the man and the woman, there are four important elements that help a marriage to thrive:
SEVERANCE. The text says a man leaves his father and mother. A new marriage creates a new family unit, and the relationship with the old family changes. If either partner in a marriage fails to "leave" emotionally or physically, and join fully in the new marriage, it is in trouble.
PERMANENCE. The marriage relationship is initiated with the call to "hold fast" to one another. The idea is to be joined together in a permanent fashion. This is not a temporary relationship. This is one reason why I will not perform a wedding ceremony in which a pre-nuptial agreement has been signed. That is nothing more than a commitment to "maybe". The design for marriage is for a man and wife to hold fast to one another.
UNITY. The two become "one flesh". There is more here than just a sexual reference. This new couple is the beginning of a new family unity. The definition of marriage is "oneness", which is why all their lives this newly married couple must strive to live as two people becoming one in their marriage. It is not easy. It is always challenging. It is wonderfully rewarding. And it is a lifelong unity that just gets better as two people stop going their own way, and head together into obedience to a loving God.
INTIMACY. The man and his wife were naked and were not ashamed. Interestingly, the first response of the two of them upon disobedience to God was to "feel naked" and ashamed and attempt to cover their bodies. In the way their marriage was originally created, they had absolute freedom to be themselves without shame. Sin disturbs this natural intimacy. Of course, a high expression of this in Christian marriage involves a satisfying sex life. But that is the result of the deepest intimacies of soul that two people share together. And I testify that in every respect, this intimacy gets better over the years and decades of commitment together.
The Burch family keeps our New Year’s celebration pretty tame. We played video games and watched movies. Some of us made it to midnight (not me). Today I have a pot of black-eyed peas and ham hocks cooking away on the stove. Smells sumptuous. You have to eat some black-eyed peas on New Year’s day… for good luck or something. My dad always did this, and I am passing on the tradition.
So what traditions are out there for others?
Today, we will lounge around the house, maybe start packing away a little of our Christmas decorating, maybe not. My tradition is to load up iTunes with every album in my collection and let it play in shuffle mode all day. Drives my kids crazy, but I love the randomness of it. Right now it is Billy Joel, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap.
Malachi 3:2
That is why the prophet asks this question. Who can really stand up to God? When He appears, our fallenness and lack of holiness is graphically apparent. We are beggars in the midst of royalty. We have nothing with which to compare ourselves to God, and unless He refines us and purifies us, we cannot stand next to Him. We need the refiner's fire. We need the washing of regeneration.
On this last day of 2008, I am reminded that I am in need of God. The more I serve Him, the more aware I am of my need of Him. The more I seek to know others who seek Him, the more convinced I am that redemption is what is needed, for we cannot make ourselves better people. Humanity is tragically twisted and in need of God to do something to our souls. He longs to repair us, to refine us, to burn off the tarnish and filth of sin and make us better in His presence.
I am praying that this new year to come will find me closer to God and more refined by Him. I pray that my dross will be consumed and my gold will be refined. I pray that I will be clothed with the fine garments of righteousness that He longs for me to wear.
and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.
Philemon 6
I will be praying for myself, that God will make my efforts effective and that I will be submissive to what He wants of me. I want to see God bring good things into the lives of people at Mill Creek. Some of them are really hurting (they may not even admit it yet) and will need the counseling ministry to step in and help them. Some will need to be discipled and the mentoring ministry will provide a relationship of new spiritual growth for them. Some will need to serve, and they will need to stop holding back, before God will give them such enormous blessings. I think there are some who will need to learn to live without some things. One of them is me. I believe the economic uncertainty will shake comfortable suburbanites to the core, and perhaps bring real need to us, which is exactly the culture the gospel will thrive in!
I will pray for those who need to grasp important biblical truths in the Discipleship Institute. Some people this coming year will finally understand and appreciate the need for a strong theology with a firm faith and a life that gives of itself exclusively to God for others. And they will find that in a classroom among humble servants and brothers and sisters.
Others will need the fellowship that only comes in a small group setting to help them be the followers of Jesus that He calls them to be. 2009 will be a year of change and the knowledge of every good thing that God has for us in Christ Jesus. I understand that is what God wants to show me. I know that is what He will give to me. I will pray the prayer of Paul and plan in ways that submits to its understanding.
