A providential parting of ways.

Then Esau took his wives, his sons, his daughters, and all the members of his household, his livestock, all his beasts, and all his property that he had acquired in the land of Canaan. He went into a land away from his brother Jacob.
Genesis 36:6

With Esau out of the land of Canaan, he is effectively out of the picture of the line of generations that God is drawing to himself to build the nation Israel. This is a providential parting. Esau is not angry, and it appears that the reconciliation of the brothers was indeed cordial, for Esau simply chose to move on. It was probably easy for him to do, since he had married Canaanite wives and chosen the life of the people of the land.

From here on out in Genesis we focus on Jacob (Israel) and the work that God was going to do to protect this seedling of a nation. But God also promised to make of Esau what He had promised to his grandfather Abraham, and indeed, Esau's departure lands him right where a nation can thrive: Edom. So there is the faithfulness of God even in this providential turn of events. Esau made a real choice to move on, but it was because God had materially blessed his family as well, and it was easiest for him to go where Canaanite leanings took him.

So God is proven faithful in His providence, in His provisions, and in His promises.

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Anxious Meetings

3    He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.
4    But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

Genesis 33:3-4

I have had my share of anxious meetings. Life dishes them out with some regularity. It might be sitting down with a doctor after some medical tests. It could be the boss saying, “Would you step into my office for a minute?” It might be a friend or relative calling with that uncertain question and rising inflection, “Can we talk?” There are so many ways in which a sudden turn can find life changing in a conversation or meeting with somebody.

God is there in those anxious times, as evidenced by His providential workings through what had been a notoriously broken relationship between the brother Jacob and Esau. When they parted ways, Esau had threatened to kill Jacob at the first convenient opportunity over Jacob’s robbing him of his father’s blessing. Now, at this meeting, Jacob presents his wronged brother a magnificent material gift of restitution, and when he does so, he has to talk Esau into accepting it, not because Esau is in a rage, but because Esau has mellowed so much that he is glad to see his brother again. Esau certainly had his spiritual immaturity issues (so did Jacob in big ways), but forgiveness did come quickly to him, and that was something God used graciously to restore Jacob/Israel to the Promised Land.’

God left the actions that Jacob chose to restore his relationship with Esau stand. He honored Jacob’s changing heart. He honored Esau’s changing heart. And the anxious meeting became a time of blessing. I should remember that when my uncertain conversations appear.

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When families fail.

Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, "The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob."
Genesis 27:41

This is the fruit of a sin-filled dysfunctional family. It started with the horrible practice of parents playing favorites with their sons. It moved on to power politics within a family in which a mother and her son (Jacob) plot against the culture and leadership of a father and the oldest son (Esau). The result was deception, broken spirits, disappointment, and bitter hate.

Esau articulates the worst that can happen when the closest relationships that we should have on earth turn sour. He is plotting to kill his brother over the deception, trickery, and robbery of his blessing. He does not remember selling his birthright, but he is bitter over the loss of the blessing of his father, because he was closest to dad and felt he deserved it most of all.

This dynamic gets repeated even today. It may not end in murderous revenge thinking, but it might, given the right circumstances. I know as a counselor that the family dynamic can foster a lot of bitterness. Sinners sin against sinners and sinners that get sinned against respond sinfully. That is exactly what happened in the family tents of Isaac and Rebekah. And it occurs in the manicured lawns and Parade of Homes domiciles of my culture!

The most valuable commitment in relationships is in these close family settings. It is worth committing to biblical standards. It must be guarded, protected, watched, nurtured, and taught. And nothing else I do is nearly as important as helping my family work through conflicts and sins with grace and forgiveness. It starts with guarding my own heart, moves into guarding my unique oneness with my wife, and extends to the character and commitments of my children.

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Parents playing favorites.

27    When the boys grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the field, but Jacob was a peaceful man, living in tents.
28    Now Isaac loved Esau, because he had a taste for game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Genesis 25:27-28

There are very real dangers to parenting, and Isaac and Rebekah demonstrate one of the worst of them: playing favorites. Their twin sons were literally answers to prayer for them. I am sure they loved them, but over time, as each boy developed a unique personality, each parent gravitated toward a favorite son. And the results would mark their lives and affect generations.

Isaac loved the rugged outdoor hunter Esau. There was something especially appealing to him about a boy who became such a skilled hunter and provider. I have to confess that the man in me would find myself attracted to that as well. Quieter boys are harder to get to know. The rugged outdoorsman was most appealing to Isaac.

Rebekah on the other hand loved her quiet and reflective boy Jacob. He stayed around the tents. He was more of a manager, and as we will see, a shrewd deal-maker. And from the text, we also see that he was a skilled chef who could cook up a mean pot of lentil stew. So he had his own personality that his mother found attractive. But as the parents drew toward the sons, they found themselves unwittingly pitting themselves and their sons against each other.

I have two children. They are unique in their personalities and I need to be careful that I don’t only feel drawn to one over the other. One is quiet and withdrawn… a deep thinker… a poet… and an emotional processor. The other is happy-go-lucky, a social butterfly with many friends, a constantly busy joker, less emotional unless it is telling a joke, and a wildly gifted musician. Fortunately, I find myself drawn to both of them in unique ways, but I need to be careful not to exalt one over the other. They sense if I am spending more attention on one over the other and they let me know! So Isaac and Rebekah serve as warning posts for careful parenting.

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