Tuesday, October 1, 2013

chasing a silent God

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 

Psalm 13:1

I can't figure God out. There... I said it. It is impossible for me to predict what God will do in any specific situation. His ways are a mystery to me most of the time. And I have spent my life studying Him. I have devoted myself to reading the Bible and trying to understand God in it. I have spent a considerable investment of time and money on a theological education and continue in it as a life pursuit. And God is mostly beyond my grasp.

That is not a bad thing,

In fact, it is a good thing.

It isn't easy to find God silent when I cry out to Him for any kind of answer. But it is part of what makes Him God. The way that I see it, if I knew God only as the caterer to my every whim, He would probably then be a construct of my own imagination, like some sort of genie in a children's tale. And that would be just a form of self-deluded wishful thinking.

Instead, having a God Who may be silent, a God Who really works on His scale and not mine drives me to a passionate pursuit of Him. He is a good God, but like Aslan in the Narnia books, He is not tame. Wild things are often hidden. I have to chase Him down in His wildness and at times when I finally catch a glimpse of Him, I tremble at what I see. I submit in awe at those times when God has been silent to me... and then I am aware of Him.

I appreciate that Isreal worshiped God with questions such as "How long, O Lord?", "Will You forget me forever?" "How long will You hide Your face?" Those experiential pains are in the hymnal of the Bible for a reason. They are meant to lead us to the worship of the God Who we chase with passion in His silence.

1 comment:

susiejeanne said...

Wow! I have often thought of myself waiting in the cleft of the rock to see Him, even just hear Him. I've never really considered chasing Him, but you're right. If I am walking in the desert, I need to keep moving to get through and watch for Him at the streams He provides to encourage me to keep going and finish the journey strong.

Thanks for tweaking my thinking today!