Old hands on young heads.

And he blessed Joseph and said,
        "The God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
the God who has been my shepherd all my life long to this day,
        the angel who has redeemed me from all evil, bless the boys;
and in them let my name be carried on, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac;
and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth."
Genesis 48:15-16

Maybe it is just my current wistfulness, but a part of me identifies with the patriarchal blessing like never before. Age has a way of increasing your identification with generational moments in scripture. This is one of them. Right now my kids are adolescents. I have very little precious time left with them until they will be adults making decisions on their own. It is coming faster than I want it to arrive!

So when I read this passage where a grandfather through blessing passes on a spiritual heritage to grandsons, I sit back and think hard. I would call Jacob's story checkered with spiritual failure (on a good day) and marked by copious outpourings of God's grace. His sons were for the most part as spiritually inconsistent as he was (with the exception of Joseph and perhaps Benjamin). Yet God had chosen this patriarchal home to become his source of future and present blessing. And from this generation would arise the vast nation of Israel. Ephraim and Manasseh represented the work that God was going to do. Jacob knew this and as he aged, his heart grew closer to God so that now his finest spiritual work would occur with the blessings he would pass on to the tribes of Israel.

Grandpa Israel, the prophet and the patriarch, places feeble withering hands on two little grandsons and pronounces a future for their tribes that would come to pass. Ephraim would become strong. Joshua would arise from Ephraim's stock. That tribe would become instrumental in the kingdom only to fall away and be judged by God. But in the plan of God, the younger son would rise in prominence. Jacob foresaw this and passed it on with his prophetic blessing.

I am far removed from this culture and manner of God's dealings. I cannot expect the kind of prophetic insight into lives that Jacob was given by God. Still, my two children are important to God and He has wonderful and wise plans for them. I need all the wisdom from Him I can get to help guide them toward what God wants. It is not easy. They are now teenagers and well on the path of their independence. I feel that it is important to them to know God's guidance and my blessing for them as they seek to follow Him. Jacob's example gives me fuel for thought as I parent my kids the next few years.

Technorati Tags: Jacob,Blessing,Parenting

The worst in us might go to them.

The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah.

Genesis 34:13

Here is a case in which all of Jacob’s oldest sons acted just as he would act. They were deceivers. Jacob may have been given a new name, but his old nature lives in his sons. They felt justified in their actions because of the horrible sin perpetuated against their sister. She is raped by a noble in the land, and then that noble has the gall to ask for her in marriage.

Their plan was simple: weaken Shechem and his tribe through deceit and then murder the entire clan. That is exactly what they did. They insisted that in order for the marriage to take place, all adult men in the clan of Shechem would need to be circumcised. Then, after the operations had occurred, and then men were in no condition to defend themselves, Jacob’s sons brutally slaughtered every last one of them in retaliation.

Jacob’s pattern of deception knew no bounds. He would lie to and deceive the ones he was to love the most: his own family. The second generation of that sin found his sons acting more like a gang of thugs than a godly generation of good sons! This is the price we pay as parents when the worst of us may find its way into our kids.

I am seriously thinking this episode over in the light of having one teenager (really two…Zach turns twelve today, but I think in our culture teen issues start about age ten now) and knowing the struggles that are there. May God give me the grace, humility, and insight to keep them from becoming what is worst in me!

Technorati Tags: Genesis,Jacob,parenting

Parents playing favorites.

27    When the boys grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the field, but Jacob was a peaceful man, living in tents.
28    Now Isaac loved Esau, because he had a taste for game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Genesis 25:27-28

There are very real dangers to parenting, and Isaac and Rebekah demonstrate one of the worst of them: playing favorites. Their twin sons were literally answers to prayer for them. I am sure they loved them, but over time, as each boy developed a unique personality, each parent gravitated toward a favorite son. And the results would mark their lives and affect generations.

Isaac loved the rugged outdoor hunter Esau. There was something especially appealing to him about a boy who became such a skilled hunter and provider. I have to confess that the man in me would find myself attracted to that as well. Quieter boys are harder to get to know. The rugged outdoorsman was most appealing to Isaac.

Rebekah on the other hand loved her quiet and reflective boy Jacob. He stayed around the tents. He was more of a manager, and as we will see, a shrewd deal-maker. And from the text, we also see that he was a skilled chef who could cook up a mean pot of lentil stew. So he had his own personality that his mother found attractive. But as the parents drew toward the sons, they found themselves unwittingly pitting themselves and their sons against each other.

I have two children. They are unique in their personalities and I need to be careful that I don’t only feel drawn to one over the other. One is quiet and withdrawn… a deep thinker… a poet… and an emotional processor. The other is happy-go-lucky, a social butterfly with many friends, a constantly busy joker, less emotional unless it is telling a joke, and a wildly gifted musician. Fortunately, I find myself drawn to both of them in unique ways, but I need to be careful not to exalt one over the other. They sense if I am spending more attention on one over the other and they let me know! So Isaac and Rebekah serve as warning posts for careful parenting.

Technorati Tags: Genesis,Isaac,Rebekah,Esau,Jacob,Parenting